I Used to Write You Poetry

 I used to write you poetry when things were different, years ago

On a playground slide under the stars at night, our love just beginning to grow

Change to autumn, the falling leaves and chill in the air

But I'm warm when you give me your hoody to wear

Expressing feelings was never our strong suit, poetry was all we could do

To really convey how much you meant to me, how much I loved you

We'd sit in silence listening to music, you hold me on the floor

“I need you so much closer,” tears fall, I never felt this way for anyone before

I used to write you poetry until one day things changed

One day we parted ways, our last goodbyes exchanged

I didn't want you to leave, I held you too close without room to breathe

When all you wanted to do was run away from everything you knew

And I was being selfish because I didn't want to lose you

So you pushed me away, but you pushed me off a cliff's edge

Was everything we had together just built up in my head?

I used to write you poetry to try and win you back

I'd stay up at night because you'd appear in my dreams, I became an insomniac

Discarded like yesterday's news I was alone for weeks

I didn't want to see anyone, it was ages before I wanted to speak

Sobriety was too painful and I needed to numb the thought of you

To get high and block out everything else was all I wanted to do

I wrote you songs because from hurt stems inspiration and creation

But from you there was only silence, which needs no translation

I used to write you poetry until one day you finally reached out

You wanted to spend time before you joined the Navy and shipped out

So we spent a night under the stars, the most we'd spoken since since our break

It felt like a dream, but instead of slumber it happened while awake

We were to go away with your friends, a few days before you were to depart

Until a wrench was thrown in our plans when the cops pulled over the car

Our lives were thrown upside down, and after a few days that was it

You stopped speaking to me, no reason, just like that we permanently split

I used to write you poetry until I realized it could do nothing

I tried my best to pretend I was past it, and you never knew I was bluffing

But instead of sitting around and waiting for someone who didn't seem to care

I happened to find someone else who treated me right and actually was there

After everything we went through, I realized I could never really hate you

I wanted to try and be friends, but friendship is something we can never truly pursue

After love that's been lost, how is it possible to feel anything but?

Pretending and forcing it, I can't change the way I feel in my gut

I still write you poetry, but it seems it all comes out sad

But sometimes the words you write are too; do you ever think of what we had?

It's the only way I'm able to get out what I feel

Even if it's all in my head, and will never be real.