Dear Mother

Dear mother, what wrong with me?
You're thinking of sending me to therapy
Am I mentally sick, do you think something wrong?
I'll try to do better- it won't take long
What that look in your eye?
Do you think I'm lying
My love for you is quickly dying
You yell at me as if I'm your mistake
Do you really think I'll be able to take
All your bullshit-you're the psycho
One way you'll leave- the opposite I'll go
I don't wanna be in your dark and cold shadow
I can't put down the bottle
Or lay off the hit
What did you do to me, mother?
Did you influence me with your fake shit?
No-it can't be
You're you and I'm different- I'm me
God told you to watch over your child
But did your "God" tell you to squash it
With repressing watchful eye?
Is this why I'm so paranoid:
You watching my every move every waking moment,
Never knowing you were the cause of my torment
Transcending rage in my ever step
Perhaps you meant no harm
No-you were only doing your job
But I neither need it nor want it anymore
So please- for the love of sanity- stop
You're suffocating me with your tight grip
And it's slowly, painfully tearing me to bits
But-you mock me when I try to tell you-
Call me drama queen, white trash
When I dye my hair blonde and do what I wanna do
Maybe I'm not your stupid niece
Who seems to be a saint in the flesh
But that's what make me, Vicky
So suck it up and accept it
That I'll never be your perfect child
And if you don't like it then let me be
Cause I'm sick both on the exterior and inside
With a disease called pressure
Give to me by my own blood.

Poetic Bits Collecting Dust in my Cell Phone

The man of the hour and the guy of my dreams
But nothing is ever quite as it seems

When I was playing Mozart
You were learning to climb a playground set
Well excuse me for being upset
But why must you be so childish?

Let's not play semantics
And cut to the chase
You're all I depend on
But obviously for you it's not the same

Why do you love me?
That's what every girl wants to know
Is it really for me
Or is it just for the way my body flows

This radioactive romance is dying fast
Spreading like cancer to the core and eating it

Wasting lung power on the process of living

I'll never tell you the sacrifices I've made
I've given up more than I've ever gained

I have rage in my step, a storm cultivating in my veins
The venom is black and it leaves my life filthy with stains

I don't love- I simply want
What pretty thing you offer
I'll take it and trash it up

The awkward silences burn holes through the metal taste in my mouth

Dear mother I wish I were famous
I'd be all those things you said I wouldn't

Is it possible to suffer from withdrawal from one person?

It's usually the ones that hold their heads highest
Whose insides are slowly dying
Devoured by the pride that doesn't exist

I leave you with a sense of loss when you leave me in power
I possess your soul with one swift kiss and you hate me for it

When I'm drunk I need to be put on a leash

I've fallen victim of a broken heart

My vision's gone blurry
My language's gotten slurry
Something's up in my mind

Euphoria's got my mind in a twist
Who knows long I can suffer through this

Dear Mr. Wright

I've lost my faith but not hope
Every night I wish for a sign
That everything will be right again
Instead of living in a space that's benign

You're not at fault
My trust issues overrule all
I've tried and tried to let the past go
But it's bound to me and I just don't know

You treat me like a queen
I feel so awfully mean
But I'm trying to trust you
So that's more than just lust
You feel as if I'm letting you hang
But let don't me go- not yet.

I clearly love you- that's never been a lie
But can someone please tell me how and why
You can love someone yet not trust
Does that mean we'll fall to dust

It's me, not you-
And I'm doing all I can do
I wanna work this shit out
And I'm screaming aloud
I'm sorry for the way I act
Most of the times I feel like a dumbass
You can cut yourself loose if you please
Your happiness only means the world to me

I'm seeking the strength
The internal peace
That I've put off for months
Through sessions of therapy
Are they helping? A bit
And I'm finally leaving the past
I can truthfully admit

The wake-up call was sickening at first
Now can we put behind the worst?
I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart
And I have cared for you from the start
So please offer me that second chance
And let us continue this near-perfect romance.