Goodnight darling, I've had enough
I've sold my soul to the devil himself
I thought we were a match to light a fire
But you were just so full of petty desire
I bargained more than I could take
Love never quite fit into this place
Tonight we slept in the shadows of past
Once vision of mine too perfect to last
I used to love you to death, but what could I know
I was stupid enough to reap what I sow
The fate of two lovers to apart in their worlds
Is like teaching a man to become a girl
A plethora of wants and dreams emerging from my head
Were soon to be discovered better off dead
You left me no choice, I know I've made a mistake
The love you expressed to me was absolutely fake
The more I wanted it the more it shown
And the hatred for myself continued and grown
An empty handshake with Satan, he said
A blood oath colored black and red
Is what I need for a lustful cure
To the heartbreak you brought on cause you just weren't sure
And I walked on down the roads of agony
This aching heart bringing on more tragedy
This promise I bought into- no emotional state
Brought onto me feelings I was forced to hate
No love, just lust- from hearts to dust
The once shiny gold is now turned to rust
I fucked up badly, but I want this to end
And finish this dream of you becoming my boyfriend
I'll end this balled with a line or two
From a poem once written by you
"That those who have never experienced it
Shall never be able to understand it..."
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Dominoes
You said you didn't need me
You just wanna be a teenage boy
Stupid and wild and free
Not ready for anything serious
Caught me in the floods of drugs and lust
I was stupid enough to trust
You said you want a rocker girlfriend
Well baby, what am I to you?
You lied when the time arrived
Did you think I was your fool?
Late nights driving into the dark
You didn't know you were my light
Well you can it all back tonight
You should probably tell your friend Andrew
He'd be proud of all the things that you do
Afterall, dirt attracts scum
Kiss you out of my nightmares
I think I'll leave you standing there alone
Now take your shit and go
The dominoes keep falling faster
One over the next
Just like your perfect lies
Never given any rest
And now something between us died
But you'll still be cold inside
Well I'm taking it back tonight
But I loved you through and through
You were my perfect type then you
Threw it in the sea
How could you do a thing like that to me?
You just wanna be a teenage boy
Stupid and wild and free
Not ready for anything serious
Caught me in the floods of drugs and lust
I was stupid enough to trust
You said you want a rocker girlfriend
Well baby, what am I to you?
You lied when the time arrived
Did you think I was your fool?
Late nights driving into the dark
You didn't know you were my light
Well you can it all back tonight
You should probably tell your friend Andrew
He'd be proud of all the things that you do
Afterall, dirt attracts scum
Kiss you out of my nightmares
I think I'll leave you standing there alone
Now take your shit and go
The dominoes keep falling faster
One over the next
Just like your perfect lies
Never given any rest
And now something between us died
But you'll still be cold inside
Well I'm taking it back tonight
But I loved you through and through
You were my perfect type then you
Threw it in the sea
How could you do a thing like that to me?
Maybe It's Something Else- J.R.
Perhaps the harm in staring at the sun
Is not that our eyes will be damaged,
But that our minds cannot comprehend the magnitude
Of its beauty and our dependency on it.
Perhaps it is the same with pangs of guilt
Felt after an unexpected evening's kiss-
The mind tied up in other engagements,
Preoccupied with the goings on of another
Cannot devote sufficient effort to understand,
Indulge in, or comprehend the sheer joy
At the fruition of a dream as two pairs of eyes lock,
To a slow song of beauty, desire and conflict.
Perhaps absence does not make the heart grow fonder,
But instead, the mind sharper,
Bringing with the passage of time and physical vacancy
The clear, precise desire to be with only one other
On the planet because in it the brain,
Which often ignores the spontaneity of the heart,
Sees in that girl everything he has ever wanted.
Perhaps memories are not past lessons
From which we should learn from the future
But instead are immaterial burns, scars from a long
Journey to be with and hold only one other being,
Whose presence seemingly mutes the world and
Opens the eyes to the beauty not since seen
Anywhere on this earthly bound.
Perhaps life is short not because our mortal shells
Cannot withstand the beating of time,
But because God worries that too much exposure to
This one beautiful girl will enrapture and entrance
The boy so thoroughly and completely
That he will hold no envy of heaven
As he comes to believe that next to him,
Cloaked in his arms, is an angel.
Perhaps the curves and contours of a bare body
Are not the result of an intricate symphony
Of bones and flesh,
But are the curves from letters of an alphabet that
Can only be deciphered through the lenses
Of passion and desire;
An alphabet that spells out, "this girl before you is
Beautiful beyond any words you know" and,
"This is what you've waited for and have found in no one else."
Perhaps the conflicts inherent within two people,
Who are so close yet so far away,
Do not present themselves to steer the two away from each other,
But serve instead as reminders that waiting,
While often the harest thing to do in life,
Is simultaneously the most rewarding,
Because waiting for the girl, in the case of the boy,
Is like waiting for his dreams to come true, while
Waiting for the boy, in the case of the girl,
Is like waiting for the one who acts as he speaks.
Perhaps a prayer need not only be said as
Two hands clasp with eyes closed and bended knee,
But also exist when eyes meet in a gaze
Previously unseen, which usher in a kiss and
Embrace of such unbridled desire
That the boy cannot help but say with it both,
"Thank you, God for bringing this girl of such
Indescribable magnificence into my life" and
"Please, God, let this moment never end, or if it should,
Let there be others like it, all of which are filled with
Such passion that a book could be written about each
Touch of the lips, each caress of a cheek, each
Massage of a breast."
Perhaps when the boy tells the girl he is crazy about her
He is being false to himself and to her,
For being crazy implies a splintered mind,
Or the assertion on something mentally tangible
Yet physically fictitious, whereas what he asserts-
The beauty of the girl and his unwavering desire for her-
Implies his single-mindedness on something very real
And very worth waiting for.
Perhaps a poem is futile attempt at making love
As the boy hopes that, just as a pen tenderly loves the paper on which is writes,
So will his words enter her as his body currently cannot
Though through another channel, but effecting her warm body and heart in the same way.
Perhaps what exists between the boy and girl
Is more than just space and time,
But as unseen binding that allows them to transcend both,
So strong and deeply rooted
That those who have no experienced it
Shall never be able to understand it,
Duplicate it,
Express it,
Or cherish just as he cherishes her.
Words by James Rohner.
Is not that our eyes will be damaged,
But that our minds cannot comprehend the magnitude
Of its beauty and our dependency on it.
Perhaps it is the same with pangs of guilt
Felt after an unexpected evening's kiss-
The mind tied up in other engagements,
Preoccupied with the goings on of another
Cannot devote sufficient effort to understand,
Indulge in, or comprehend the sheer joy
At the fruition of a dream as two pairs of eyes lock,
To a slow song of beauty, desire and conflict.
Perhaps absence does not make the heart grow fonder,
But instead, the mind sharper,
Bringing with the passage of time and physical vacancy
The clear, precise desire to be with only one other
On the planet because in it the brain,
Which often ignores the spontaneity of the heart,
Sees in that girl everything he has ever wanted.
Perhaps memories are not past lessons
From which we should learn from the future
But instead are immaterial burns, scars from a long
Journey to be with and hold only one other being,
Whose presence seemingly mutes the world and
Opens the eyes to the beauty not since seen
Anywhere on this earthly bound.
Perhaps life is short not because our mortal shells
Cannot withstand the beating of time,
But because God worries that too much exposure to
This one beautiful girl will enrapture and entrance
The boy so thoroughly and completely
That he will hold no envy of heaven
As he comes to believe that next to him,
Cloaked in his arms, is an angel.
Perhaps the curves and contours of a bare body
Are not the result of an intricate symphony
Of bones and flesh,
But are the curves from letters of an alphabet that
Can only be deciphered through the lenses
Of passion and desire;
An alphabet that spells out, "this girl before you is
Beautiful beyond any words you know" and,
"This is what you've waited for and have found in no one else."
Perhaps the conflicts inherent within two people,
Who are so close yet so far away,
Do not present themselves to steer the two away from each other,
But serve instead as reminders that waiting,
While often the harest thing to do in life,
Is simultaneously the most rewarding,
Because waiting for the girl, in the case of the boy,
Is like waiting for his dreams to come true, while
Waiting for the boy, in the case of the girl,
Is like waiting for the one who acts as he speaks.
Perhaps a prayer need not only be said as
Two hands clasp with eyes closed and bended knee,
But also exist when eyes meet in a gaze
Previously unseen, which usher in a kiss and
Embrace of such unbridled desire
That the boy cannot help but say with it both,
"Thank you, God for bringing this girl of such
Indescribable magnificence into my life" and
"Please, God, let this moment never end, or if it should,
Let there be others like it, all of which are filled with
Such passion that a book could be written about each
Touch of the lips, each caress of a cheek, each
Massage of a breast."
Perhaps when the boy tells the girl he is crazy about her
He is being false to himself and to her,
For being crazy implies a splintered mind,
Or the assertion on something mentally tangible
Yet physically fictitious, whereas what he asserts-
The beauty of the girl and his unwavering desire for her-
Implies his single-mindedness on something very real
And very worth waiting for.
Perhaps a poem is futile attempt at making love
As the boy hopes that, just as a pen tenderly loves the paper on which is writes,
So will his words enter her as his body currently cannot
Though through another channel, but effecting her warm body and heart in the same way.
Perhaps what exists between the boy and girl
Is more than just space and time,
But as unseen binding that allows them to transcend both,
So strong and deeply rooted
That those who have no experienced it
Shall never be able to understand it,
Duplicate it,
Express it,
Or cherish just as he cherishes her.
Words by James Rohner.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Out of Confusion and Spite
Dedicated to someone who doesn't want a relationship
I write because I feel what I feel to be romance-
Heat boils the earth and the air we breath,
Sweat covers our bodies- not an inch is safe
The breeze from the rolled down windows of an automobile-
Our only salvation of a fresh breath through the smoldering passion
The red ball of fire rises pas the horizon of a hill with a church
Light hugs the earth in a warm embrace
As two lover, the connection from some sort of story book,
Breathe heavily as if it was God's will.
One, suffering from a past heartbreak, is caught in the moment
The other, falling for something that's not there, want the night to never end.
The kisses, falsehood to the maximum, will mark the end of an era.
The physical attraction kills the romance- makes everything deceased.
The so-called friends will be nothing more than sleeping partners,
And the one side of the circle of confusion who's emotions are on the line
Will go along with it because it's better than denying the fatal attraction
While the other side just enjoys the pleasure of being young.
Well, there's no crime in such behaviors, is there?
Who should put down the attitude of teenage rebellion?
Have we all not fallen short of what was expected of us from the High and Holy One?
However, the first side of the circle is crying-
She feels guilt for letting her mind get the better of her actions.
Who are you fooling tonight but yourself?
And the other side will leave you behind at the end
Unless what they say is true about how he really feels.
Only time can truly tell- not even the soul keeper of the hearts.
And she'll fall for him still while he continues to dance the tango of lust and juvenility.
I write because I feel what I feel to be romance-
Heat boils the earth and the air we breath,
Sweat covers our bodies- not an inch is safe
The breeze from the rolled down windows of an automobile-
Our only salvation of a fresh breath through the smoldering passion
The red ball of fire rises pas the horizon of a hill with a church
Light hugs the earth in a warm embrace
As two lover, the connection from some sort of story book,
Breathe heavily as if it was God's will.
One, suffering from a past heartbreak, is caught in the moment
The other, falling for something that's not there, want the night to never end.
The kisses, falsehood to the maximum, will mark the end of an era.
The physical attraction kills the romance- makes everything deceased.
The so-called friends will be nothing more than sleeping partners,
And the one side of the circle of confusion who's emotions are on the line
Will go along with it because it's better than denying the fatal attraction
While the other side just enjoys the pleasure of being young.
Well, there's no crime in such behaviors, is there?
Who should put down the attitude of teenage rebellion?
Have we all not fallen short of what was expected of us from the High and Holy One?
However, the first side of the circle is crying-
She feels guilt for letting her mind get the better of her actions.
Who are you fooling tonight but yourself?
And the other side will leave you behind at the end
Unless what they say is true about how he really feels.
Only time can truly tell- not even the soul keeper of the hearts.
And she'll fall for him still while he continues to dance the tango of lust and juvenility.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
World View Attempt
The pathway fades to black, so the story goes.
The road is already paved for me- set so that my feet don't wander.
I feel the trees along the sides, whispering to me wickedly,
"Come with us; feel free."
I try to block out their temptations, but they softly grip my soul.
Should I leave the path, who knows what will happen.
My creators, those who together made an infant,
Lay the path before me.
Should I stray- they would shun me from their light.
Yet, the farther I walk, the pressure from the trees
Causes me to question those in command of my life.
So, overcome by teenage angst and rebellion, I walk away
From that path that I used to call home.
The trees seem to welcome me at first with warm smiles
And strong embraces that shimmer in the dazzling night lights.
But, when the sum pulls up in the dark sky, I can see the cracks
That those trees hide behind the shadows.
In the wind, the branches thrash against my body,
Hitting me hard and causing me to fall.
"I thought you were my friends," I cry as I crash against the ground.
"Friends?" they jeer at my pain. "Who wants to be your friend?"
I stand up with a jolt, and through my tears, I begin to run.
Running through the forest, deeper and deeper into the dark.
I can't return to the path, because no one will understand-
My creators won't take me back.
Farther into the black, cold labyrinth,
My heart is gripped with fear, depression, anxiety, frustration.
I stop running, petrified of my surroundings,
But as I rase my head, I feel nothing but rage.
I trusted those trees; they were my brothers and sister-
And they jeered and laughed at me: my pain, my accomplishments.
In anger I tear off any evidence of the back-stabbing brush
And kick down the walls of hypocrisy, betrayal, lunacy.
And when those walls fall with a crash to the ground
I'm blinded by white lights far brighter than anything I've ever seen.
I fall to my knees, overcome with strange emotions.
I try to catch a glimpse into the white
And I find myself staring back at a crowd of faces-
All different and unique.
They smile comfortingly and reach out towards me.
And all at once I hear music, like sweet candy to my ears,
And the faces lead me to an open field away from the forest.
The blue sky and sun come into view through the dark trees
That continue to mutter obscenities and cruelties,
But they're clocked out by the lovely symphony
Now playing in sync with the tune in my soul.
And the faces never leave, no matter how low I feel.
They continue to keep me company and provide the melody of my life.
And the trees will never hurt me or suede me from the field
Where I can be myself without the limitations of the path.
For it is the field of victory in which I permanently reside.
The road is already paved for me- set so that my feet don't wander.
I feel the trees along the sides, whispering to me wickedly,
"Come with us; feel free."
I try to block out their temptations, but they softly grip my soul.
Should I leave the path, who knows what will happen.
My creators, those who together made an infant,
Lay the path before me.
Should I stray- they would shun me from their light.
Yet, the farther I walk, the pressure from the trees
Causes me to question those in command of my life.
So, overcome by teenage angst and rebellion, I walk away
From that path that I used to call home.
The trees seem to welcome me at first with warm smiles
And strong embraces that shimmer in the dazzling night lights.
But, when the sum pulls up in the dark sky, I can see the cracks
That those trees hide behind the shadows.
In the wind, the branches thrash against my body,
Hitting me hard and causing me to fall.
"I thought you were my friends," I cry as I crash against the ground.
"Friends?" they jeer at my pain. "Who wants to be your friend?"
I stand up with a jolt, and through my tears, I begin to run.
Running through the forest, deeper and deeper into the dark.
I can't return to the path, because no one will understand-
My creators won't take me back.
Farther into the black, cold labyrinth,
My heart is gripped with fear, depression, anxiety, frustration.
I stop running, petrified of my surroundings,
But as I rase my head, I feel nothing but rage.
I trusted those trees; they were my brothers and sister-
And they jeered and laughed at me: my pain, my accomplishments.
In anger I tear off any evidence of the back-stabbing brush
And kick down the walls of hypocrisy, betrayal, lunacy.
And when those walls fall with a crash to the ground
I'm blinded by white lights far brighter than anything I've ever seen.
I fall to my knees, overcome with strange emotions.
I try to catch a glimpse into the white
And I find myself staring back at a crowd of faces-
All different and unique.
They smile comfortingly and reach out towards me.
And all at once I hear music, like sweet candy to my ears,
And the faces lead me to an open field away from the forest.
The blue sky and sun come into view through the dark trees
That continue to mutter obscenities and cruelties,
But they're clocked out by the lovely symphony
Now playing in sync with the tune in my soul.
And the faces never leave, no matter how low I feel.
They continue to keep me company and provide the melody of my life.
And the trees will never hurt me or suede me from the field
Where I can be myself without the limitations of the path.
For it is the field of victory in which I permanently reside.
Sunday, April 22
When you truly love someone, I suppose no matter how hard you try, you can't stop
Today, we cuddled on your love seat
After being caught in the heat of a tickle fight.
I've waited for possibly a hope to have a chance like this again.
God, I've missed you. How I've cried.
The joy I feel at this very moment brings horrid suspicions:
Will it last? Are you just shitting me? Will my prayers be answered?
The sweetness of your embrace, the strength of your arms-
Bringing every sense of belonging in the earth to its existence.
The tears of joy, the breath of fresh air, the smell of your skin-
Will the gods be gracious and finally allow us to be together?
I can't tell anyone. Will I jinx it?
I want this to be true- more than just a summer romance under the stars;
Please give me this second chance I've been begging for.
I'd stop the world, put a halt to all eternity, bring the world to its knees.
Screw everything and anyone that doesn't understand love.
They could go to hell for judging what we have.
And it'll work for the better. And like the air, we'll rise
To the heavens when they open themselves for us.
Today, we cuddled on your love seat
After being caught in the heat of a tickle fight.
I've waited for possibly a hope to have a chance like this again.
God, I've missed you. How I've cried.
The joy I feel at this very moment brings horrid suspicions:
Will it last? Are you just shitting me? Will my prayers be answered?
The sweetness of your embrace, the strength of your arms-
Bringing every sense of belonging in the earth to its existence.
The tears of joy, the breath of fresh air, the smell of your skin-
Will the gods be gracious and finally allow us to be together?
I can't tell anyone. Will I jinx it?
I want this to be true- more than just a summer romance under the stars;
Please give me this second chance I've been begging for.
I'd stop the world, put a halt to all eternity, bring the world to its knees.
Screw everything and anyone that doesn't understand love.
They could go to hell for judging what we have.
And it'll work for the better. And like the air, we'll rise
To the heavens when they open themselves for us.
Rant- inspired by the stupidity of others
You hold me back:
I keep my mouth shut to not offend
And then you accused me of not saying enough.
Today I am a new woman: I'll shine.
Like the crack of dawn I'll beam like a new tomorrow.
I'll speak my mind and you'll never hold me down-
Bluntly honest, you'll envy, hate, scream to shut up
But I'm better now- stop hating and get back.
I keep my mouth shut to not offend
And then you accused me of not saying enough.
Today I am a new woman: I'll shine.
Like the crack of dawn I'll beam like a new tomorrow.
I'll speak my mind and you'll never hold me down-
Bluntly honest, you'll envy, hate, scream to shut up
But I'm better now- stop hating and get back.
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